18 May 2014

From the sublime to the ridiculous.....
For 3 years I've done everything possible to make friends with our neighbours. Last Xmas I took home-made patisserie to each of them but alas nothing in return. Of course it all revolves around our naughty dog Bruno. I know, I know but he's a lovable chasseur who wants just 2 things in life: to be with us and to run.That was the reason we bought this house with its large, fenced garden, but Bruno knows no barriers; it's all one big adventure for him. Knowing this we give him plenty of walks, but he got out again while I was bringing in the washing, nosed open the cellar door, raced down the bottom of the garden and leapt the fence in one go. In a flash the neighbour (not the one with the chickens) was there with a giant baton and went to beat poor Bruno repeatedly. For God's sake: this isn't a wild fox; it's a neighbour's pet dog who loves everybody. I can honestly say that if a known neighbour's dog was in our garden, I would take him round to them again. But here? No. I shouted for Bruno to run, run.....he did, climbed the fence with all 4 paws and leapt over to safety again. Phew!  But now, look what the crazy neighbour has done....these signs have sprouted all around our garden, facing us. Does he think Bruno can read? Incroyable.

6th April 2014

They say never let the grass grow under your feet. Well, the Avignonois didn't in the end. They're all now dancing tous en rond, but us? No dancing in our garden. The grass isn't just under our feet, but up to our knees.  Any higher and the neighbours'd be round, and you know what they're like. Never mind that the delay was caused by illness. So, down to the shed at the bottom of the garden and turn the ignition on the old MTD...blue smoke. Head under the bonnet revealed a cracked fuel pipe and God knows what else. Verdict from local mower shop:  kaput/9 years old/it's had it!  But, but a new one would cost well over a thousand. What to do?  Buy a new one, but get yours truly to negotiate a way to pay it. Different economic arrangements are needed when you're retired. No longer is credit over many years an option any more and no-one wants to deplete steadily dwindling savings. The best deal I could arrange was four cheques - not to be cashed all together!  He agreed.  So now we have a brand new Jonsered tondeuse/tracteur, absolutely necessary for our acre garden. Like the Grand National  yesterday, all I have to do now is put Him indoors out to grass.

30th June 2013

All is chaos and confusion here. What's new, you say? Well, the family is visiting, but it's not that. The day before they arrived, we picked up our two dogs from the kennels where they'd been staying for a week. All seemed fine, but the following day Tina, the gentle Springer, starting bleeding from the mouth - lots and lots of blood. We rushed her to the vet, who said she had been poisoned. Was it the neighbours, we thought?  They have been pretty condemning of us and our dogs lately. But the vet said he thought it was a bite from a viper. A venomous snake, you say, said Him indoors.  Then, it could still be the neighbour!  Anyway, Tina has needed to stay overnight at the vet's clinic and this morning we helped the vet give her a plasma transfusion, as well as antibiotics and vitamin K1 tablets - especially good for poisoning cases.
So, I'm very worried for the dog but also need to go out with the family. We are in constant touch with the vet via cell phone, so we'll see what happens.  In the meantime I must subtly teach the vet that the English word for how the dog responds is 'reaction', not 'erection' - hardly a normal word for a female dog!  More news next time......

6th January 2013

Growing up in the postwar years, it was instinctive for English people to help one another. Even today I love to watch the BBC's 'DIY SOS' programme, where neighbours club together to help someone in a crisis.  But I have yet to see neighbourly spirit in the French, especially in Gaillac! So I was surprised to read about the people of Saint-Martin-des-Fontaines in the Vendee, who have actually rallied round to build a brand new wooden house for a local 47 years' old unemployed man in trouble.  This poor man was living in a dilapidated old mobile home, down on his luck, having given up all hope. Well, not any more. Local tradespeople and neighbours have worked hard to give him a decent roof over his head. The Association des Bassins Versants de la Grande Fontaine started the scheme when it contributed an amazing 20,000 euros worth of building materials, which prompted local volunteers to give of their free time in labour. Now, not only has this man a new, decent home, but also a new farming job - offered to him thanks to local publicity. This has buoyed me in this new year: there's some hope for the world after all. Him indoors says p'raps there's a chance for a DIY job himself. 'Are you handy?' say prospective employers. 'Yes,' says he, 'I only live down the road.'

14th October 2012

No smoke without fire.....
We've had some lovely warm days lately, so even I was tempted outside. When's the best time to light a fire? I asked Him indoors.  Always a difficult question, as the French law seems so unclear. Each departement has a different code.  Some say a garden fire is o.k. if it's at least 200m away from the nearest house, others say more than 50m, whilst some areas have no discernible law at all.  Some expats on bonfire night each year invite people around (including the Maire!), and light a huge bonfire. All year we regularly see fireworks exploding in neighbouring gardens - presumably for family celebrations.
.....so we both agreed - should be o.k. to light a fire; do it during the day so we can be sure to put it out before nighttime. Soon a plume of sweet, grey smoke was blowing lazily sideways right at the bottom of our very long garden - well away from any houses. I resumed my weeding until Him indoors shouted 'The police are at the gate!'  You're joking?  For once, he wasn't.  'We've had a call. You must put the fire out', they said.  'Who on earth called you?' They looked sheepish.What kind of person calls the police on a neighbour?  In my book you should never, ever make an enemy of your neighbour. They are often the nearest person to help in times of crisis. I'll never understand the French mindset.

30th September 2012

Allons aux barricades.  No, it's not 14th July - it's the neighbours who're revolting! Something'll have to be done, but what? Regular readers of this post will guess what happened recently.  Yes - Bruno again.  After his second episode of climbing the fence and attacking the neighbour's chicken, we resorted to attaching him via a long rope to our terrace.  Sounds cruel, but it wasn't. It was long enough to allow him to go under nearby bushes or to come into the house to see us.  He's very much an outside dog and much prefers being in the open air. Then, when we brought him into the house, we would unclip the rope and shut the doors. This worked very well until the day we forgot one of the windows was open. He heard the crack of a nearby hunting gun (grr) and jumped out. The problem with the neighbours is that they have poulets tondeuses (chickens bought to run over the grass) as well as geese.  But, this isn't the countryside - it's a town. And the chickens provoke our chasseur dog by pecking near the fence. Well, the neighbours drove round to our front gate. I didn't let them in. They waved a letter and threatened to call the Gendarmes. I said I would pay one more time - but think they're diddling me by demanding I buy 6 more chickens when only one was attacked. Enough's enough. No more. Friends say have we tried electrocution. I say, what the fence?  Him indoors says, no, the neighbours....

5th February 2012

Not a good week. Someone's been misbehaving again (no, not Him indoors this time). Plus, in sub-zero temperatures, when the new cast-iron fire gives a good blaze, the overhead wooden mantlepiece gets red-hot. So, we called back the poelle-man to fit some sort of metal fireguard. As Him indoors says: yet another paying opportunity.
For those who've not met our dog Bruno, he loves to run and climb fences with all four paws off the ground. All of which makes life difficult. We've discovered that the patch of ground to the left of us is rented out to the man whose property lies along the bottom. So, when yet again Bruno climbed the adjoining fence, it's not our immediate neighbour who's at war with us, but the one with the gun(!) in the next road. (And, of course, our neighbour can't take our side because he doesn't want to lose his rent money!) Fortunately for Bruno, we managed to catch him and lead him back, tail between his legs. Sigh of relief.  But then, that evening, the ubiquitous white Berlingo arrived. Him indoors was out walking the dogs, so I opened the gates and let whom I thought was our poelle-man into the drive. But it wasn't him.  It was the irate couple from the next street!
Nothing for it. Despite the icy, hardened ground, Him indoors went off to Brico yet again to arm himself with more materials to fix a sturdier door to the dog pen. Will it be completed this time? As he says everytime he puts his key in the door: 'what have I let myself in for?'

24th December 2008

Went to Intermarche in Caussade yesterday to do a big food shop. It's worth the 30 km drive because the prices are so cheap and the range better than locally. However, you could tell this is France. Two days before Xmas and there was plenty of room to park and not much evidence of special Xmas fare/wrapping paper anywhere!
Thought I'd get some dried fruit and plain flour to make some vegetarian mince pies. Couldn't find any currants, though, nor one of those patty tins that would have been useful. Plenty of sultanas/raisins and prunes, but not the tiny dark ones. The cakes will have to be my own variety as I substituted dried apricots for the currants. As my family will tell you, I'm not much good at making cakes. When they were small, the same little bottle of green colouring for the icing was in my food cupboards for years and years.
Anyway, it's now or never, so I'm off to try and make shortcrust pastry. Would be so much easier if French supermarkets stocked those little packets of ready-made pastry in their freezers. Oh well, c'est la france. Don't know whether to try again that new foodblender that friends gave me - still haven't fathomed how it all fits together - and I end up with a sticky mess that then needs to be scraped out into another bowl!
If it all works and I end up with passable mince pies, I aim to distribute them to our neighbours and try to explain exactly what mince pies are. That could be more difficult than the baking.
But if all else fails, Him indoors should like them as I'm going to add a spoonful of whisky to the mix....