Visitors to rural France often comment that they don't know what people actually do behind all those shuttered up houses. As you drive through French villages, the inhabitants seem to have all left home, everywhere deathly quiet. Closed-up volets, empty streets, not a scrap of litter, the few shops dark, and restaurants always closed outside those crucial hours of 12 - 2 and 7 - 9. I often expect to see a sign outside saying 'gone to lunch'. So, where exactly is everybody? And, if they are at home, what are they actually doing?
There was a court case recently where a nosey-parker in Aix en Provence regularly climbed a tree in his garden to observe his neighbours during the volets-open season. He spent hours in the ash tree that overlooked his neighbours' property from where he took photos of what was happening. From his high perch, he was able to see not only what was going on in their garden, but could also see right into their kitchen, living room and even the couple's upstairs bedroom. After the police said that no criminal action was being committed (typical!), the exasperated couple brought a civil action against him in the French courts. But, even the judges proclaimed that the man didn't seem to be causing any nuisance! Eventually, an appeal to the supreme court of France, le Cour de Cassation, succeeded. The man has now been ordered to stay out of the tree.
But, that still doesn't answer the question: what exactly is it that French people do in rural France? I must contact that tree-climbing man in Aix en Provence and ask him.
15th November 2009
There's an expat website called TotalFrance. They asked me whether I knew anyone who had gone back to the UK and what resources we had called upon to cope with the ongoing problem.
And my answer? Like everyone else today, we have to make a choice. Nowhere's perfect. Is it better for me and 'him indoors' to return to the land of grey skies, chewing-gum-encrusted pavements and general air of self-deprecating depression? Or should we stay here and benefit from the 'free' sunshine, clean air and joie de vivre of the French?
But, I hear you say, what about money? Well, yes. We can't escape that, but would we be any better off back home? Probably not, and we no longer have a home back there. Keep checking your bank balance on the web - it's no good burying your head in the sand - and follow tips on how to survive financially as an expat senior citizen in France:
1. In the winter, collect free firewood wherever you see it - along the river banks, woods etc.
2. On your annual French tax return, claim for any eco-work you've had done on the house. Last year, amazingly, I received a cheque from the French Centre des Impots for 2,000 euros!
3. If disaster strikes and your spouse passes away, you can claim 1 year's bereavement allowance from the UK.
4. If you're over 65 and your income is less than 1,100 euros p.m. for a couple, claim means-tested ASPA from French social security - look it up on the web.
5. Buy the return leg of trips back home from a UK website in pounds.
6. Go to big supermarkets like Intermarche on days when they offer discounts and get a store card. On average, I receive c.5 euros off my bill every trip.
Above all, keep weighing up the balances and wait for next year's sunshine - something you can definitely rely on here!
And my answer? Like everyone else today, we have to make a choice. Nowhere's perfect. Is it better for me and 'him indoors' to return to the land of grey skies, chewing-gum-encrusted pavements and general air of self-deprecating depression? Or should we stay here and benefit from the 'free' sunshine, clean air and joie de vivre of the French?
But, I hear you say, what about money? Well, yes. We can't escape that, but would we be any better off back home? Probably not, and we no longer have a home back there. Keep checking your bank balance on the web - it's no good burying your head in the sand - and follow tips on how to survive financially as an expat senior citizen in France:
1. In the winter, collect free firewood wherever you see it - along the river banks, woods etc.
2. On your annual French tax return, claim for any eco-work you've had done on the house. Last year, amazingly, I received a cheque from the French Centre des Impots for 2,000 euros!
3. If disaster strikes and your spouse passes away, you can claim 1 year's bereavement allowance from the UK.
4. If you're over 65 and your income is less than 1,100 euros p.m. for a couple, claim means-tested ASPA from French social security - look it up on the web.
5. Buy the return leg of trips back home from a UK website in pounds.
6. Go to big supermarkets like Intermarche on days when they offer discounts and get a store card. On average, I receive c.5 euros off my bill every trip.
Above all, keep weighing up the balances and wait for next year's sunshine - something you can definitely rely on here!
8th November 2009
All the TV programmes in the last few weeks, English and French, have shown presenters wearing the ubiquitous red poppy - even the presenters on last night's Strictly Come Dancing. What few realise is that it was a French woman who developed the idea. Back in 1920 Madame E. Guerin saw a market for mass-producing paper poppies to raise money for veterans, their dependants and destitute French children. She assembled a group of war widows in N. France to make artificial flowers by hand and approached veterans' organisations across the globe to join the poppy appeal. And from there, the idea blossomed, so to speak.
Whether you commemorate Remembrance Day today or, like the French, at the 11th hour on the 11th day, it's always good for the soul to take a few minutes in your life. Few of us remember anyone who died in WW1, so I personally like to remember those in my own family who died during my lifetime. Unfortunately, by the time I was 24, as many as 8 family members had died - with many more since. If no-one remembers you after you've gone, what's the point of your life? So, here in our village, on Wednesday I'll walk to the tiny memorial in the central square and listen to the lone accordianist play La Marseillaise....allons enfants de la patrie..ye.., and realise my own mortality.
And then, from Thursday, I'll get on with my life. There's much to get done. I mustn't waste a second...
Whether you commemorate Remembrance Day today or, like the French, at the 11th hour on the 11th day, it's always good for the soul to take a few minutes in your life. Few of us remember anyone who died in WW1, so I personally like to remember those in my own family who died during my lifetime. Unfortunately, by the time I was 24, as many as 8 family members had died - with many more since. If no-one remembers you after you've gone, what's the point of your life? So, here in our village, on Wednesday I'll walk to the tiny memorial in the central square and listen to the lone accordianist play La Marseillaise....allons enfants de la patrie..ye.., and realise my own mortality.
And then, from Thursday, I'll get on with my life. There's much to get done. I mustn't waste a second...
1st November 2009
There's not a day goes by without a pic of an 'airbrushed' Sarkozy in the French press. He uses all the aids he can get to look taller and more attractive - especially when pictured next to the tall, glamorous Carla.
But now a French MP is mounting a campaign against 'touched up' images. Valerie Boyer, who represents the governing UMP party in Marseilles, says enough is enough. She's the mother of three teenagers and a leading campaigner on bulimia and anorexia. She says that ultra-perfect pictures 'created' via computer programs such as Photoshop can lead people to believe in realities that do not exist. She argues that if advertisers are not allowed to tell lies about their products, they should not be permitted to show misleading pictures either.
Well, yes! But I would go further. My main gripe with the L'Oreal ads is that they use models who have obviously had face-lifts, Botox etc. - and then try to tell us that their looks are entirely due to the cream they're promoting! L'Oreal should be prosecuted under the trades-descriptions Act for misleading the public. Similarly with all those shampoo ads. The models are picked because they have good hair in the first place - not after they've used the shampoo. When I use the product, my hair doesn't (and never will) look like that!
In the meantime, I'll follow the Brigitte Bardot lead and do my own natural thing. (Still wish I looked like her, though).
But now a French MP is mounting a campaign against 'touched up' images. Valerie Boyer, who represents the governing UMP party in Marseilles, says enough is enough. She's the mother of three teenagers and a leading campaigner on bulimia and anorexia. She says that ultra-perfect pictures 'created' via computer programs such as Photoshop can lead people to believe in realities that do not exist. She argues that if advertisers are not allowed to tell lies about their products, they should not be permitted to show misleading pictures either.
Well, yes! But I would go further. My main gripe with the L'Oreal ads is that they use models who have obviously had face-lifts, Botox etc. - and then try to tell us that their looks are entirely due to the cream they're promoting! L'Oreal should be prosecuted under the trades-descriptions Act for misleading the public. Similarly with all those shampoo ads. The models are picked because they have good hair in the first place - not after they've used the shampoo. When I use the product, my hair doesn't (and never will) look like that!
In the meantime, I'll follow the Brigitte Bardot lead and do my own natural thing. (Still wish I looked like her, though).
25th October 2009
As we struggle to change all the digital clocks back one hour this morning, I can't help but think that more than anything else that's happened in my lifetime, it's the constant advance of technology that's the most worrying. Yes, I know, technology is supposed to be a good thing. But in my view it needs to be targeted better, or we'll all be the worse for it.
Take mobile phones. New results from a £20million, decade-long WHO investigation, has revealed that heavy mobile phone users face a higher risk of developing brain tumours later in life. Children, in particular, need to learn to use such devices for important, not spurious, reasons. France, quite rightly, is one of the first governments to publish the risk and take urgent action. The problem is that so often the benefits of technology are being taken over for stupid, commercial reasons, like Wiifi and other games. We're constantly urged to buy a new Nintendo 'brain' game, when surely a Sudoko book or simple paper crossword puzzle would work just as well?
I would urge all techno engineers to target their expensive efforts away from the superfluous to the real needs of society. It makes me smile to see such wonderful new plasma, super-thin TVs - but still with the old fiddly plugs attached. Come on techno whizz-kids, give us simple click-on plugs with click-in fuses, i.e. really useful aids in this techno age.
Take mobile phones. New results from a £20million, decade-long WHO investigation, has revealed that heavy mobile phone users face a higher risk of developing brain tumours later in life. Children, in particular, need to learn to use such devices for important, not spurious, reasons. France, quite rightly, is one of the first governments to publish the risk and take urgent action. The problem is that so often the benefits of technology are being taken over for stupid, commercial reasons, like Wiifi and other games. We're constantly urged to buy a new Nintendo 'brain' game, when surely a Sudoko book or simple paper crossword puzzle would work just as well?
I would urge all techno engineers to target their expensive efforts away from the superfluous to the real needs of society. It makes me smile to see such wonderful new plasma, super-thin TVs - but still with the old fiddly plugs attached. Come on techno whizz-kids, give us simple click-on plugs with click-in fuses, i.e. really useful aids in this techno age.
18th October 2009
I see that Big Brother and Jeremy Clarkson are at it again. A new black box in cars and lorries has been designed to give a verdict on our driving performance, red, amber and green lights installed in the cab. I wonder what happens if, heaven-forbid, you get the dreaded red? Stand in the corner of the motorway with a dunce's cap on? And, Clarkson is no better in his different way. Every article he writes shows him slavering over some super-shiny new boys-toy that zooms at racetrack speeds in 0.1 secs.
And the French? Their latest wheeze is to make cars from flax! I kid you not. PSA, the French motoring group that makes Peugeots and Citroens, has a 'wonderful' plan to increase by six-times the natural and renewable materials used in all its vehicles by 2015 to reduce energy use and CO2 emissions.
But, hang on a minute here. Has anybody bothered to ask people like me what I would like in a vehicle? Here is my top-ten list, and it has nothing to do with CO2 emissions, Ferrari-like engines, or even appearance:
1. It MUST start every time I turn the ignition.
2. It should be made to last much much longer than current models.
3. It should cost much much less than currently.
4. It should have a super-safe exterior, capable of keeping me safe in the event of a crash.
5. Stronger tyres so that in the event of a flat, I can still drive to the nearest garage.
6. In-built phone as standard, with link to nearest garage.
7. Impossible to steal.
8. Oh, and if possible, can the rear have some built-in doggie-friendly components, e.g. unspillable water/food bowl, plastic bone, unchewable/replaceable mat, doggie seat-belt etc.?
9. Small enough to park easily.
10. Easy enough for a woman to maintain without being a techno/mechanical genius.
Is there a car manufacturer out there who is willing to listen to what I want, not Clarkson??
And the French? Their latest wheeze is to make cars from flax! I kid you not. PSA, the French motoring group that makes Peugeots and Citroens, has a 'wonderful' plan to increase by six-times the natural and renewable materials used in all its vehicles by 2015 to reduce energy use and CO2 emissions.
But, hang on a minute here. Has anybody bothered to ask people like me what I would like in a vehicle? Here is my top-ten list, and it has nothing to do with CO2 emissions, Ferrari-like engines, or even appearance:
1. It MUST start every time I turn the ignition.
2. It should be made to last much much longer than current models.
3. It should cost much much less than currently.
4. It should have a super-safe exterior, capable of keeping me safe in the event of a crash.
5. Stronger tyres so that in the event of a flat, I can still drive to the nearest garage.
6. In-built phone as standard, with link to nearest garage.
7. Impossible to steal.
8. Oh, and if possible, can the rear have some built-in doggie-friendly components, e.g. unspillable water/food bowl, plastic bone, unchewable/replaceable mat, doggie seat-belt etc.?
9. Small enough to park easily.
10. Easy enough for a woman to maintain without being a techno/mechanical genius.
Is there a car manufacturer out there who is willing to listen to what I want, not Clarkson??
11th October 2009
Global warming and its effects are still much in the news. Despite the fact that many, including me, cast serious doubt over whether it's caused by man's actions at all, we are still going to have to deal with each government's alarming hysteria over it all.
I read that UK households can expect £2,000-a-year energy bills over the next decade if the country is to hit 'greenhouse gas targets' and build enough new power stations — and thousands of wind turbines — to secure the nation's energy supplies.
And even normally slow France has caught the fever too. A new taxe carbone will put up vehicle fuel and domestic energy costs from January. It will cost the average family 74 euros extra per year. However, before the excitable French race to block the barricades, Sarkozy has promised tax rebates. Each adult will get 46 euros if they live in an urban area, whilst those in rural areas like me will get 61 euros back. For those who pay French income tax, the rebate will come off next year's first provisional payment in February. For those who don't pay income tax because of poverty or criminal intent (!), a cheque will be sent.
PM Francois Fillon calls all this "a real ecological and fiscal revolution". I call it a load of rubbish, trying to 'fix' something as elusive as global warming, which could well be a result of normal astrological development, well out of man's ability to fix. But, comme d'habitude, it's the ordinary man in the street who always has to pay.
I read that UK households can expect £2,000-a-year energy bills over the next decade if the country is to hit 'greenhouse gas targets' and build enough new power stations — and thousands of wind turbines — to secure the nation's energy supplies.
And even normally slow France has caught the fever too. A new taxe carbone will put up vehicle fuel and domestic energy costs from January. It will cost the average family 74 euros extra per year. However, before the excitable French race to block the barricades, Sarkozy has promised tax rebates. Each adult will get 46 euros if they live in an urban area, whilst those in rural areas like me will get 61 euros back. For those who pay French income tax, the rebate will come off next year's first provisional payment in February. For those who don't pay income tax because of poverty or criminal intent (!), a cheque will be sent.
PM Francois Fillon calls all this "a real ecological and fiscal revolution". I call it a load of rubbish, trying to 'fix' something as elusive as global warming, which could well be a result of normal astrological development, well out of man's ability to fix. But, comme d'habitude, it's the ordinary man in the street who always has to pay.
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