'Sacre bleu!' The government has resigned, en bloc. Panic. 1789 all over again. I peered out the window in some trepidation, expecting to see anarchic riots on the village streets. What was that creaking noise? Could it be the sound of the approaching tumbrils as they arrive to cart away those pesky expats? Mais non. All is calm. The creaking noise was only the usual sound of our wooden volets banging against the crepi walls as we unlatch the nighttime pins. That distant cackling sound was not the rising tide of gallic dissent, merely the white turkey-like creatures pecking in our neighbouring field.
So, what's going on? Surely Sarkozy can't rule all by himself, can he? Well, no. French government moves in mysterious ways. It's apparently standard practice, ahead of a cabinet reshuffle, for the PM and government to 'resign' before some being re-elected again. It's like applying for your own job only to be shocked later to find out that somone younger and more beautiful has got your 'cast iron, totally secure job'. Let's hope that new, young Robespierre doesn't get the job!
When will I understand all things French? Never, probably. In the meantime, man the barricades and cancel that trip to the Bastille in Paris. C'est la revolution!
7th November 2011
Hypochondria rules o.k. Time to brave the rigors of the French health system. You turn up at the surgery any morning and hope the waiting room is empty. It wasn't. But, you can telephone and make an afternoon appointment. (I still don't understand. What symptoms require an afternoon appointment?) The doctor greeted me. 'Ca va?' Well no, that's why I'm here. I showed him a rough sketch of my family history. I'd circled everyone in my immediate family who had passed away with the big C. Unfortunately there were 6, 2 of whom both siblings. He said I must take tests. But, but, I feel O.K. And anyway, not all of the Cs affected the same part of the body. N'importe quoi.
Trouble is, medical science has only devised tests for certain parts of the body. So, what about the other parts? You must hope you don't get it. Great! But I did read recently that researchers have discovered a rogue protein that masks C cells, fooling the body that the C cell is injured and must be protected. Now, all they need to do is zap this protein so that the proliferating C cells will be destroyed by natural immunity. Where's Dr.Bones of Star Trek when you need him? I need him to run an electronic gadget all along my body to pick up annually anything untoward BEFORE any symptoms present themselves. And it needs to be in my lifetime..... In the meantime, here's what I take every day: 75mg aspirin, 1 glass red wine, raw carrot, tomato, orange, sunshine, home-made veg soup.
Trouble is, medical science has only devised tests for certain parts of the body. So, what about the other parts? You must hope you don't get it. Great! But I did read recently that researchers have discovered a rogue protein that masks C cells, fooling the body that the C cell is injured and must be protected. Now, all they need to do is zap this protein so that the proliferating C cells will be destroyed by natural immunity. Where's Dr.Bones of Star Trek when you need him? I need him to run an electronic gadget all along my body to pick up annually anything untoward BEFORE any symptoms present themselves. And it needs to be in my lifetime..... In the meantime, here's what I take every day: 75mg aspirin, 1 glass red wine, raw carrot, tomato, orange, sunshine, home-made veg soup.
31st October 2010
Now I've heard everything. Doctors in France are to offer medical services via webcam or instant messenger! A government decree authorising the online consultations has been published in the Journal Officiel. Health Minister Rosalyne Bachelot believes online surgeries will offer much needed support for rural areas where there is a shortage of doctors. Patients would log in to a secure website where a doctor will ask them a series of questions.
But it seems some doctors have their doubts. One doctor in Brittany told Le Telegramme that, although medical advice has long been given to known patients over the phone, that is not a consultation. No indeed. He explained that a consultation isn't just an exchange of information, it requires a physical exam. Well yes. You need to listen to a patient's breathing, for instance, without which an incorrect diagnosis is likely. I'd have thought there were other dangers too. I have found that French doctors don't recognise my English first name as feminine, so what's next? My being diagnosed with prostate problems?
And Him indoors? Don't ask. He says he's just waiting for the time when all medical consultations are over the phone: If you've got a bad leg, press 1; if you've got something unmentionable, press 2......
Enough said.
But it seems some doctors have their doubts. One doctor in Brittany told Le Telegramme that, although medical advice has long been given to known patients over the phone, that is not a consultation. No indeed. He explained that a consultation isn't just an exchange of information, it requires a physical exam. Well yes. You need to listen to a patient's breathing, for instance, without which an incorrect diagnosis is likely. I'd have thought there were other dangers too. I have found that French doctors don't recognise my English first name as feminine, so what's next? My being diagnosed with prostate problems?
And Him indoors? Don't ask. He says he's just waiting for the time when all medical consultations are over the phone: If you've got a bad leg, press 1; if you've got something unmentionable, press 2......
Enough said.
24th October 2010
Chaos theory reigns supreme. Take England. Please! We had arranged an early-morning hotel wake-up call for the Tuesday morning so that we could pick up our daughter at Heathrow. So, we were now 3 in the hotel room, she on crutches following breaking her foot. After a tiring day dealing with funeral agents, we were in a deep sleep when, you guessed it, the phone jangled at 04.30! 'Your early morning call, madame'. No! That was yesterday. 'It's on our system, madam'. After sorting that out, the following night loud bells again woke us. I blinked at the clock: 02.00h. Unbelievably, a fire alarm. Struggled out into the cold. The fact I had forgotten to pack my nightdress in the rush to leave home did not help! No fire wardens, no-one at all to help, nor to tell us when it was safe to go back in. Finally got back to sleep, when loud bells again woke us at 06.00h. On enquiry at reception, the under-manager had arrived for duty, heard about the fire alarm and was testing the system! I could almost hear Sybil shouting 'Basil, Basil...!' and Manuel 'Mr. Fawlty, eet iz only a drill'. Later, after the funeral, our sorry group returned to the hotel, feeling despondent, only to be met by a riotous wedding party and loud, jarring drumbeats all night.
After all that, the French strikes are almost a relief....
After all that, the French strikes are almost a relief....
17th October 2010
Why do others make life so difficult for ordinary people? First, the anti-terrorist brigade - otherwise known as English customs -confiscate simple things in our luggage like the memorial candles for my late brother. I told them I'd just returned from the funeral, but 'he was only doing his job'. Yes, I know, it's the terrorists of this world I should be complaining about, but it's still hard. Some things in your luggage are simply too private and personal to be bandied about for the whole world to see.
Then, what happens when we're finally back in la belle France? Rioters on the streets, waving placards, throwing tear gas. Oil refineries shut down, so there's a real threat of running out of petrol - a worry for those of us living in rural areas where the car is an absolute necessity. Forgive me for thinking we're back in 1789. And what grave concern are all these Frenchmen protesting about? The perfectly reasonable and mild suggestion from Sarkozy of moving the retirement age from 60 to 62.
What's up with everyone? Life is difficult enough and ordinary people like us just want to be left alone to get on with our lives. Is that too much to ask?
Then, what happens when we're finally back in la belle France? Rioters on the streets, waving placards, throwing tear gas. Oil refineries shut down, so there's a real threat of running out of petrol - a worry for those of us living in rural areas where the car is an absolute necessity. Forgive me for thinking we're back in 1789. And what grave concern are all these Frenchmen protesting about? The perfectly reasonable and mild suggestion from Sarkozy of moving the retirement age from 60 to 62.
What's up with everyone? Life is difficult enough and ordinary people like us just want to be left alone to get on with our lives. Is that too much to ask?
10th October 2010
We are in England, returning to France tomorrow. Life is so strange: one minute you're going about your normal routine, then one phone call can turn everything upside down. My last remaining brother died suddenly and I was the only one to arrange the funeral, so over the last 7 days I've run the full gamut of funeral directors, coroner's courts and solicitors. But throughout it all, individuals have been so kind and thoughtful.
My head's in a whirl, so I'm glad I haven't been doing the driving. My head loses all its spatial awareness when approaching a traffic island on the 'wrong' side of the road. But all traffic rules these days are crazy anyway. A woman driver in Perigueux had to pull her car inches past a red traffic light to allow an ambulance with flashing lights to get past. It was just the sort of situation where a policeman would have assessed and understood the situation, but a mechanical GATSO camera? Yes: it flashed and she was issued with a ticket. Pay or else.
This past week has convinced me.
Please can we have more people and fewer machines!
My head's in a whirl, so I'm glad I haven't been doing the driving. My head loses all its spatial awareness when approaching a traffic island on the 'wrong' side of the road. But all traffic rules these days are crazy anyway. A woman driver in Perigueux had to pull her car inches past a red traffic light to allow an ambulance with flashing lights to get past. It was just the sort of situation where a policeman would have assessed and understood the situation, but a mechanical GATSO camera? Yes: it flashed and she was issued with a ticket. Pay or else.
This past week has convinced me.
Please can we have more people and fewer machines!
3rd October 2010
Ever wondered what the French earn? The subject is a definite no no in France. It's more outrageous here to ask what someone earns than asking about their sex life! Currently 7.8 million French live below the poverty level of 949 euros p.m., with half of those living on less than 773 euros p.m. Actual poverty levels are worked out by calculating 60% of the average French wage. In 2008, this median figure was 19,000 euros p.a.
Him indoors said How Much?? But he's always pleading poverty, and says government statisticians have never asked him what he earns here. I remember only too well when we were in the UK. The bank manager said "we have a policy here Mr.......: you're supposed to put some money IN occasionally!" And even here in France, when he visited the chiropracter and the doctor said "this is going to hurt", Him indoors replied "why, are you about to give me the bill?"I know - you've heard some of his jokes before. But what can I do? I tried to emigrate away from them, but they're still with me!
The bottom line: apart from houses, wine and sunshine, France is expensive. Expats won't get benefit credits here, so don't make the move unless your monthly income is at least the above poverty levels.....Him indoors now knows.
Him indoors said How Much?? But he's always pleading poverty, and says government statisticians have never asked him what he earns here. I remember only too well when we were in the UK. The bank manager said "we have a policy here Mr.......: you're supposed to put some money IN occasionally!" And even here in France, when he visited the chiropracter and the doctor said "this is going to hurt", Him indoors replied "why, are you about to give me the bill?"I know - you've heard some of his jokes before. But what can I do? I tried to emigrate away from them, but they're still with me!
The bottom line: apart from houses, wine and sunshine, France is expensive. Expats won't get benefit credits here, so don't make the move unless your monthly income is at least the above poverty levels.....Him indoors now knows.
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