11th June 2017

Hottest day of the year and a lovely literary lunch chez-nous. Nothing better in my book! Was I going to let a little matter of a stupid Eng bank deter me? No, despite the fact that they're still refusing to recognise the id of Him indoors after being a member of theirs for 50 years. What have I sent them? Copy of his passport, certified by the mairie (whom they don't recognise), recent EDF bill, French bank statement showing credit of his state pension, letter from Bham City Council confirming his right to vote, his P60 etc. etc. But no: all our Eng money will be frozen from the 16th....until we can physically set foot in the UK and wring their necks personally. Will enjoy that.
Meantime far better to concentrate on the good things of life chatting to publishers Laurence and Steph of Crookedcatbooks.com, whilst enjoying chilled Vichyssoise soup fait maison bien sur! We enjoyed a friendly discussion author:publisher. Me: who are a publisher's customers - authors or book-buying public? What makes a prestigious publisher - no of books sold or recognition by industry peers? Answer 1: both. Answer 2: the latter. Them: what makes a good writer? Me:  write about what you know and are passionate about. Recognise importance of having a good publisher v downmarket self-publishing. Merci Laurence and Steph. An utterly charming couple.

16th February 2014

I was watching 'The Voice' on BBC last night.  It occurred to me, as a writer, that it's no longer enough to be able to 'perform' as well as those in the past - now you need to be different or extraordinary to have a chance of being noticed in today's world of myriad attractions. So, I've been reformatting some of my writing.  For youngsters I've written 3 of a series of 7 novels. The original (i.e. an attempt to be 'extraordinary') concept here is that each covers  a personality deficit of the girl which matches the voted-on motto of one of the 7 modern wonders of the world, the finale of each novel proving that each person can overcome their weaknesses in a highly-critical world.
For adults I've been reformatting Vichyssoise which I hope would appeal ultimately to the French. It covers an in-depth study of the mindset of the Vichy government. Admittedly it's a risk, and I may well be heckled, but hopefully falls into the 'extraordinary'. Previews can be read on the re-formatted buttons on the right - currently available on Lulu.com and soon via globalreach and Amazon worldwide.
Would Sir Tom Jones, Kylie Minogue or Will.i.am 'turn around' for it?  On verra......

4th November 2012

Fifty shades of grey?  Fifty shades of nothing, say the French.  E. L. James' best-seller has now been translated into French, but literary it is not.  Connoisseurs of the arts are horrified. What do you do when sleaze apparently outsells Shakespeare? It's grunge v the opera, graffiti v Renoir. This week I read that Pippa Middleton was advanced hundreds of thousands for her completely juvenile, illiterate book.
A sign of the times, I suppose.  Makes me wonder why I continue to struggle to achieve something literary in a world where perversion is news and being famous is more important in a writer than the beauty of the written word.  Good job Jane Austen, Charles Dickens and Shakespeare aren't about to submit their manuscripts today. None of them would count for much in the looks department!
I was saying all this to a French friend the other day. She had recently read a French novel, the writing of which had brought tears to her eyes. The James' saga couldn't happen in France, she said, promising to read one of my novels and even to translate it into French!  Worth a try, I suppose, but I'm still sceptical it'll achieve anything positive in today's world of cash-strapped literary editors and publishers.
But, anything that will lighten my gloom would be a glimmer of hope as I contemplate the stirrings of a new novel in my fervent brain. One thing's for sure:  this may be France, but the Marquis de Sade I'm not!

6th December 2009

For my birthday I bought myself one of those super-dooper laptops. In my old life (i.e. in the UK), this would have been the height of extravagance but things change. Possessions I used to have back then that were so important are now no longer so. Living in a remote part of France, new items that previously would have been considered a luxury now become an absolute necessity.
A large part of my life here is spent writing and dealing with administration/banking/shopping - all dealt with remotely. As such, being a worrying sort of a person, I began to think what if this 'fixed' PC breaks down? What if that elusive publisher suddenly decides to offer me a 7-book contract and wants my manuscripts pronto and the PC doesn't work?
So, I bought a portable laptop. However, nothing comes easy. It's a Dell Inspiron - naturally bought on-line. I managed to get it customised: i.e. bought in France so it complies with French modem requirements(?), but with English qwerty keyboard (clavier) and English Microsoft 7 set-up etc. Thought I'd done everything, but it's now arrived and - help - I can't connect it to the internet!! Unfortunately the instructions are all in French. Suddenly everyone's talking tech. jargon to me: have you got a wireless router?? How many gigabytes? If I need to connect it somehow to the PC, what's the point of it being portable?
Why when you buy something do you have to be an expert on stuff beyond your understanding? Why can't things be simple like they used to be years ago? When I think back to those glorious years of learning to type on an Imperial typewriter, when did it all change?
I'm getting too old for all this.

I'm NOT a celebrity - get me published!

Part 2.
O.K., so you're not a celebrity; maybe also, like me, you're not young, slim nor beautiful either? In which case, please read on to find out how to publish that book you've always wanted to write.
How to approach a reputable literary agent

Reputable is the key word here. The best way is to choose a selection of such agents from the 'Writers' and Artists Yearbook' (published by A. C. Black) on writersandauthorsyearbook.com. Click on Search, then on Agents. It only includes agents who are members of the AAS authors' association, and who do not charge a reading fee. You can choose from agents around the world, but if you're from the UK it's best to stick to those in the UK, and vice versa if you're from the US. If any agent you approach charges you money, then they're not reputable so avoid them like the plague. Each agent's own website includes their preferred submissions method, but in general here's how to approach them: 1. an email enquiry, or a letter, with a brief description of your book; 2. if they say yes, then send by standard mail a covering letter, a one-page synopsis of your finished book, plus the first 3 chapters (word-processed in double-line spacing, right-justified, with each page numbered). Don't even think of emailing your wondrous manuscript to them. Most won't open email attachments. Then, you pray. I'm sorry to report that even the best ones can take as many as 8 weeks to reply, and some don't bother to reply at all!
It's a real jungle out there. Remember: most agents receive hundreds of unsolicited mss every week, so your submission will not be their top priority. And don't even think of approaching publishers directly. They no longer accept any enquiries or submissions from unsolicited authors, preferring their associated agents to do the hard slog of editing, selecting and weeding-out the inferior for them. It's a hard fact of life but all are more interested in their already-contracted clients. So, only those of you with supreme staying power will last the distance.
Next week, I'll tell you what to do if the above methods have singularly failed (i.e. you approached zillions of agents 6 months ago, and none has replied - been there, done that, and worn the T-shirt!).
................................see Part 3 next Sunday on how to recognise the difference between the vanity press, POD, and reputable self-publishing sites.

6th November 2008

Now that the global excitement of the last few days has begun to die down, I look again to matters closer to home. Through our blurry windows, the rain outside continues to pour down by the bucket-load, washing in muddy channels down to the nearby river Aveyron. Yesterday I pulled my L.L. Bean raincoat from its hook and decided to join Him indoors and Bruno for a muddy walk down to see how high the river had reached. Several yellow inondation signs were leaning against the castle wall, ready to leap into action should the river burst its banks. Fortunately, when buying our house three years ago, we made sure our home was well out of the flood zone but you have to be prepared. The river was brown and raging in full flood, making me think of wild-water rafting. Not the time for Bruno (or us) to have a swim.
In this kind of weather, it's ideal for me to spend time writing. I've now finished my first children's novel called 'Rose' but still search for that elusive agent/publisher to represent me. In the meantime, I have self-published it on the YouWriteOn site (funded by the UK Arts Council) and it should be available for purchase by Xmas. (I'll publish the link as soon as I know it). It is the first of seven novels in which each girl has an adventure in one of the 7 modern wonders of the world. Rose goes to the Ancient Temple of Petra in Jordan, and because its motto is 'protection against enemies', timid Rose becomes strong and learns to love her own enemies. I've already started writing novel no. 2 in the series, called 'Clementine', who will be travelling to the Colliseum in Rome.

10th October 2008

When we made our first tentative foray onto French soil proper three years ago, the plan for our lives was simple really. Him indoors would spend more time on his carpentry hobby and I would explore the world of writing. Since then, we've both learned a few things. One: that making things out of wood is more difficult than at first envisaged - hence many of our new wobbly wooden acquisitions. Two: that I've discovered a lot - not about writing so much, but about agents and publishers! Little did I think when I set out that it isn't the quality of writing that is sought after nowadays, but the relative fame of the author him/herself. To get published these days it's necessary to be: famous, beautiful, young and, if possible, featured recently in a TV reality show. Unfortunately I score zero on all these things. What happened to the old love of beautiful writing as an art in itself? If Will Shakespeare himself were to submit one of his plays today, it would no doubt be rejected. A modern response to this phenomenon has been the mushrooming of IT sites catering for the masses of furious wannabe writers, denied outlets by the old standard routes. Trouble is, I sometimes wonder if these act, not as an instant route to fame, but merely as a Disneyworld queue. You know the scene: move people around barriers and through hoops ad infinitum. This makes everyone think something is happening when in reality it just keeps them occupied. Time will tell. A writer's world is a long and winding road, as Macartney sang. If you want my tales of life in France to lead to your particular 'door', click on the 'Paradis' icon on the right.