30th April 2017

What a week. First, personal  Last Saturday we held our Vide Maison. We'd decided that, because we had bought a very small, modern house in the UK, the large, classic French furniture here needed to be sold. I'd advertised it nationally, via the ubiquitous LebonCoin site, and locally via the familiar card on a board in our local Intermarche. First I had to deal with the downright rude responders on LebonCoin. For those who understand what this says, please don't repeat it to your mother-in-law: 'va te faire f......, sale cons.'  Clearly, she wasn't happy with my prices (3 - 100 euros for each piece). Oh well, can't win them all. The day dawned and TG loads of people arrived, carting away absolutely everything! Thursday the UK removals van arrived, taking with them the mainly bedroom furniture that we'd arranged. And, surprise, surprise, two of our previously-hostile neighbours turned up to give me a kiss on both cheeks. Pleased to see the back of us, you think??
Secondly, the French elections:

Just look at all those dark blue NF areas, including this Departement (81)! Yes, as expected, the dreaded Mme Le Pen is through to the second round on 7 May. To be clear, an outright fascist has just achieved an alarmingly large share of the votes in this modern democracy. Just goes to show what so many francaises really think.Am I gonna sit around as so many decent Berliners did back in the '30s? What d'you think - I'm outta here and fast.

12th February 2017

This comic opera called global politics continues... Have you seen the new Mr. President book by Steve Bannon (http://www.thepoke.co.uk/2017/02/08/donald-trump-mr-men-cartoon-just-superb/). Says it all really. Here in France it's not much better. Since the Conservative Fillon's fall from grace, who's left in the imminent race for the new French President?  Yes, you've guessed it: the current 'It girl francaise': Marine Le Pen.  And for other expats reading this, have you heard the latest from her lips?  She will stop all dual citizenship!  Does she realise, I wonder, that following Brexit there were only 2 options for British expats here: to take dual citizenship or go back to the UK?  Yet more booking their passage home then. Of course, there's always the new young garcon on the block, Emmanuel Macron, who plans to stand in the election under the banner of En Marche!, a centrist movement he founded in April. But already there's a closet gay suspicion about him. Shouldn't make a difference but in the world of anonymous voting, who knows? So, the right-wing bandwagon morphs on.
...Bacharach's comic song springs to mind: One wheel on my wagon and I'm still rolling along.....

13th November 2016

For many today is the day of remembrance. Below is a poem I publish every year in the hope things might change around the world.

At early morn' I had a dream
that man would cease his futile scheme
Fighting battles, suicide missions
Murder, hatred, blazing seditions
What man needs is re-appraise
in eyes of beings not so fazed
Yes, don't fight tribe v tribe
as if nothing else but diatribe
But see with eyes afresh from birth
that we're all one tribe - that of Earth!
by Olga Swan

So now we have a Disney character called Donald in the White House! The year 2016 isn't over yet. Brexit was deemed improbable, President Trump extremely unlikely and in a few months here in France the unimaginable prospect of the Front Nationale leader, President Marine Le Pen. That's one of the reasons we're leaving. Even if she's not elected, it's the fact that such a large percentage of the French endorse her policies. I've raged against racism and extreme nationalism all my life, epitomised in my two noir wartime thrillers. Why can't we learn from the past and recognise those early, dangerous steps towards disaster so that people in power can stop it in time?  Don't forget: in the '30s the crowds cheered for a man called Hitler.  After this week's ringing endorsements from far-right people like Nigel Farage and Mme Le Pen for a man called Donald, the world can only duck....

25th September 2016

Have you read 'Submission' by French author Michel Houellebecq?  What a frightening political future he paints for France!
In a week when the woman we all love to hate, Marine Le Pen - leader of France's far-right National Front (FN) party - is certain to advance to the second round of the country's 2017 presidential election, according to a new poll published on Thursday, maybe we should all listen very very carefully to what M. Houellebecq has to say.  I'm particularly interested as the main character in the futuristic novel is a sardonic French professor (see my own novel '3rd Degree Murder', about another sardonic but English professor, authl.it/4ia); and M. Houellebecq's novel includes threats of a Frexit, similar to the Brexit fuelling my desire to move back to the UK.  However, the novel's main thrust is a future French general election, which pits the FN v a French Muslim Brotherhood party, and because they're neck and neck in the polls, a frightening compromise agreement is worked out between them!
Bon courage M. Houellebecq:  you're a braver man than I!

10th July 2016

Well, what's it to be: go back home or take out French citizenship? Only two options I'm afraid....
I always like to look back at history when pondering the future. Would we have called a referendum in Churchill's day?  For those who haven't yet read my war-time novel VICHYSSOISE (on sale right now, only 99p/99c), there's a message very relevant to today. It's about choosing the right leader. Everything hangs on it. To this day France still regrets electing Petain in 1940 - totally the wrong man, who hadn't a clue about dealing with Hitler. So, a message to today's Tories at this crucial time: think long and hard whom to elect as next PM. We know it'll be a woman, but the wrong choice could bring repercussions greater than we know. Forget personality or likeability: it's all to do with inner strength, political experience, education and an even balance of mind in a crisis. Ask any Frenchman. In this crazy world we don't need another Petain!
....but if I take out French citizenship and the French forget my message and elect Marine Le Pen in the 2017 elections?  Damned if I do, damned if I don't....

3rd January 2016

Were you happy with 2015?  For France it was a year of shock when terrorism took hold and the FN party threatened. But, Paris was resilient and the French voters saw off Marine Le Pen...for now. So, what about 2016?  The old 22 regions are now reduced to a more simplified 13, but until each has an agreed new name in July, here we'll have to fit the ridiculously-long Languedoc-Roussillon Midi-Pyrenees onto forms. I see Hollande has pledged to lower the cost of mutuelles for people on old-age pensions over 65, but will that include British expats?  New Linky, actual-consumption, electricity meters are to be fitted to do away with estimates and we can no longer have tinted side windows in our car that let in less than 70% light, but how to tell? All earning over 40K will have to declare online, but what of non-IT-literate pensioners? A single number for calling an out-of-hours doctor will be launched (ours is 3966), but why is our local vet on call 24/7 with his mobile number, but not our own doctor? Are pets more important than humans? Him indoors asks whether there'll be a new computer GP app asking 'if you've a broken leg, press 1, haemorroids press 2, a broken finger - please wait....'  Whatever, a healthy 2016 to all readers.

29th March 2015

Today we've moved 1h forward to summer. Good. But today the French vote in the 2nd round of the local elections. Not so good if the 'wrong' party does well. You know whom I mean: the woman in sheep's clothing, who glosses over what the real FN represents. She is now calling for a referendum for France to leave the EU.  When those tragic events occurred in Paris, I was worried the French would rally to her cause to fight against  living in their country who were 'different' from themselves. And, a lot did: enough to give the FN candidates in 1000 canons across France. But, TG, she didn't come first last Sunday. It seems the man they all love to hate, UMP Conservative leader Sarkozy still has enough supporters to make a difference. Love him or hate him, I believe he is the man France needs. Centrist Conservative parties are always best placed to boost the economy, Socialist parties to borrow and Far Right parties to bring the country to its knees.
100 years ago the army report on a young officer called Petain said: 'if this man rises higher, it will be disaster for France' (Chambers). Prophetic indeed!  For the future of France and the EU, as the French go to the polls today, they must learn from history and not vote for the disaster called Le Pen.

30th March 2014

Someone once said to me 'you can't see the wood for the trees'.  It's always good to get opinions from others, so I looked inwards. Well today even the clock is pointing ahead. And, a few days ago we decided to get an eye test. The opthalmologist showed Him indoors a card and said Can you read this?, to which the answer was No. What, not at all? said the doctor. No, I can't read French!  But, for me the diagnosis was Glaucoma - yet more pressure building, and not just physically.
The results in Gaillac from the municipal elections went as feared.  The National Front gained considerably, getting 20% of the votes in the first round. And, as predicted, they won outright in Henin and in the large town of Avignon - clearly the famous bridge is well and truly broken. Whilst the French think they're voting for local issues, they're letting the devil in.  Exactly what happened in 1930s Germany.  So, in today's second round of voting, I'm getting increasingly worried. As I look blurrily to the future, can I at last see the wood for the trees? The clock's ticking...

23rd March 2014

Bonaparte once said 'History is a set of lies that people have agreed upon'.  French residents need to reflect on this as they go to the polls in today's local elections.  We're all swayed by the media. Lately the French press have been eager to bring down Sarkozy's ambitions whilst Hollande is still struggling to improve the flagging economy.  And, whilst we're all looking elsewhere, Marine Le Pen's FN party dangerously awaits its chance to steal a march on everyone. That's what it does - hiding behind a veneer of surface respectability. In the impoverished town of Henin-Beaumont in Normandy, Le Pen sees political gold in the abandoned coal mines that once pumped jobs into the area. Whilst disdaining the EU, paradoxically she's pinning all her hopes on using towns like Henin to build a grassroots base to draw ahead in the EU May elections ready for the ultimate prize of the presidency in 2017.  Let's hope the French aren't swayed by National Front hype. As Him indoors says, Hollande needs to buy some colle du bois to stick his cabinet together. But, above all, keep with conservative prices, liberal values and labour-saving devices - stick with what you know!

3rd April 2011

It's Mothers' day - at least in the UK. In France, it'll be 29 May, and in the US - not sure. Confusing. What's a mother to do when one child's in England, the other in America? Some would say good job there's no mother-in-law day - the greetings card industry would have a field day!
And then there's the political worry about another woman here in France: Marine Le Pen, President of the NF party.  She's already won a lot of regional votes. She's known for being a Euro-sceptic and hates immigrants. What if she becomes French President next year?  She could throw all we expats out. Trouble is, as with all young females, she's photogenic and comes across well on TV. She's mild-mannered and apparently entirely plausible.  My worry is she will entice the French with her artificially-sweet, saccharine words and then?  A natural progression is to think back to Germany in 1933. The youthful Hitler snared the poverty-stricken Germans with encouraging words about food and jobs - and indeed, in power, fulfilled all these promises - but then, all that glory and popularity pushed him to reveal his true, evil hard core.
Today may be a day for women but, especially in politics, beware the wolf in sheep's clothing. Sometimes, better to stick to the devil you know.