18th October 2009

I see that Big Brother and Jeremy Clarkson are at it again. A new black box in cars and lorries has been designed to give a verdict on our driving performance, red, amber and green lights installed in the cab. I wonder what happens if, heaven-forbid, you get the dreaded red? Stand in the corner of the motorway with a dunce's cap on? And, Clarkson is no better in his different way. Every article he writes shows him slavering over some super-shiny new boys-toy that zooms at racetrack speeds in 0.1 secs.
And the French? Their latest wheeze is to make cars from flax! I kid you not. PSA, the French motoring group that makes Peugeots and Citroens, has a 'wonderful' plan to increase by six-times the natural and renewable materials used in all its vehicles by 2015 to reduce energy use and CO2 emissions.
But, hang on a minute here. Has anybody bothered to ask people like me what I would like in a vehicle? Here is my top-ten list, and it has nothing to do with CO2 emissions, Ferrari-like engines, or even appearance:
1. It MUST start every time I turn the ignition.
2. It should be made to last much much longer than current models.
3. It should cost much much less than currently.
4. It should have a super-safe exterior, capable of keeping me safe in the event of a crash.
5. Stronger tyres so that in the event of a flat, I can still drive to the nearest garage.
6. In-built phone as standard, with link to nearest garage.
7. Impossible to steal.
8. Oh, and if possible, can the rear have some built-in doggie-friendly components, e.g. unspillable water/food bowl, plastic bone, unchewable/replaceable mat, doggie seat-belt etc.?
9. Small enough to park easily.
10. Easy enough for a woman to maintain without being a techno/mechanical genius.
Is there a car manufacturer out there who is willing to listen to what I want, not Clarkson??

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