28th June 2009

I didn't intend watching Wimbledon because of all those grunting women players. So off-putting. But, tennis did develop in 12C France from a palm game called paume, and I had nothing better to do. And, once I'd hit the mute button, it was quite interesting.
Did you notice the uniforms that the officials were wearing? I think Wimbledon called in a so-called top fashion designer - probably one of the Queen's designers from nineteen hundred and frozen to death. All those office shirts with white collars, ties and tight white trousers....what on earth were they thinking of? These people - who tend to be middle-aged because of their years of experience in the game - have to lean forward at top speed to see whether the ball is out. (Incidentally, the ball popped out from the long skirt of one lady official like the goose who laid the golden egg). The last thing they need in the heat of summer is tight clothes, especially around the waist. What would I design? A simple light cotton tunic and loose cotton trousers (rather like hospital technicians wear) in Wimbledon colours of dark blue and green, so that they blend into the background - as do the ballboys/girls. This would also help disguise the many large-chested women officials! Why are English women so large-chested anyway? French women don' t seem to be; especially not the French player Mauresmo...but that's another story.
Did you see that other French player mid-week? He looked just like Sarkozy. But then, he did end up entangled with a young girl at the net on centre court, right in front of the cameras - no change there then!